Soul Dreams Read online

  Before she could say, “Don’t mix business with pleasure,” her heart had been fully engaged.

  Nina still had to pinch herself to make sure the relationship was real. She was actually involved with a man as sexy and good looking, and as magnetic as Tom. Every detail of the night they first made love was burned into her mind. One minute they were in the middle of a working dinner, the next sexual tension had exploded so thick she could almost feel it. During the long hours they spent together, then and on subsequent nights, he taught her more about sex than her shitty ex-fiancé even dreamed of knowing. Since then, they’d been together almost every night, time passing in a romantic blur for her. Tom took her to candlelight dinners in charming out of the way places, brought her little gifts to remind her of him. As if she could ever forget. And nearly every night, he took her on another unforgettable erotic journey.

  They spent Thanksgiving together, the two of them enjoying the holiday and each other. Tom had a full dinner catered by a restaurant, and they ate until they were stuffed. Then they cuddled on the couch and watched football until they dozed off. Later, they made slow, beautiful love. She was thrilled he always asked if the things he did pleased her. If his touches were the best. If his technique brought her satisfaction.

  Like children they giggled about what the future would bring, how the success of his book might affect them, how they would handle it. They talked about their dreams for the future, the books he still wanted to write, her plans to one day open her own agency. No one knew about their relationship yet. They’d agreed it was best to keep a very low profile where they were concerned until the book released. If he never spent a full night in her bed, she didn’t worry. He told her he did some of his best work in the early morning hours and didn’t want to disturb her.

  “You have to get up so early for work, sweetheart. And sometimes after I leave you, I’m so energized I can write for hours. You’re my inspiration.”

  She’d only had one other serious relationship besides her ex-fiancé and it ended by mutual agreement. She wasn’t the type to give her heart easily. But this thing with Tom had happened so fast. So instantly.

  She was giddy with the joy of it, holding the secret to her heart like something precious. If some of the women she worked with as well as her friends commented on the new glow shining from her, she just smiled and skillfully ducked their questions. The book was due out in another two weeks. Very soon they’d all know why she was so happy. After the release date, everything would fall into place, so she was content with what they had for the moment. But she was counting down the days on the calendar when they could finally go public.

  She stared at the single rose in a crystal vase sitting on her desk, a gift from Tom the night before when he walked in her front door.

  “To remind you of me during the day.”

  “As if I could forget.”

  Then he’d kissed the side of her neck, in the spot he knew turned her on so. In seconds, they were naked and tangling in the bed sheets where he’d made slow, sensuous love to her.

  “Dreaming about glamour boy again?”

  Diane Reilly, Nate Forrester’s administrative assistant, stood in front of her desk, grinning.

  “What?” Nina gave herself a mental shake. “Oh. Sorry. Did you need something?”

  “Yeah. I need to have your job, so I can hang onto Ridgeway like a barnacle wherever he goes. How do you keep yourself from running your hands all over him, anyway?”

  “Puhleeze.” She rolled her eyes. “As if.”

  “You get all the good looking ones,” Diane pointed out. Then she winked. “You make good eye candy for them, but I’ll bet they fall on their asses when they realize how smart you are.”

  Nina blushed. Diane had been with the agency since day one, and she didn’t give compliments lightly. “Thanks. Anyway, did you need me for something?”

  “I know you have an appointment with Ridgeway here this afternoon to go over the results of the cover photo shoot. I thought I’d give you a heads up he’s early. I saw him walk into Forrester’s office not five minutes ago.”

  “Oh, thanks. I’ll get all the stuff I need and go on into the conference room.”

  As she walked by Forrester’s office with the folders in her hands, Tom’s sexy voice drifted out from behind the nearly closed door. She stopped to shamelessly eavesdrop.

  “I figure the timing is right,” he was saying. “We’ll announce the engagement at the press party for the launch and then decide on when to schedule the wedding. With the media event set for right before Christmas, we’ll play off everyone’s holiday spirit.”

  Then Nate Forrester’s gruff voice. “That’ll work. Everyone loves a romance. And Christmas is a great time for it. Have you told Nina yet?”

  “No. But I will.” His voice had a strange sound to it, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

  “Better do it soon. We want everyone prepared. Okay, young man. Better get to your meeting.”

  Excitement surged through her. Engagement! Holy crap! Apparently he planned for them to go public in a big way. And for Christmas. Could she ask for anything better? Christmas was her very favorite holiday. Bells would really be ringing this year.

  She hurried to the conference room, hardly able to contain her excitement, the words still echoing in her brain. Engagement! She’d hardly dared hope. She had to discipline herself for when she saw him in a few minutes. She didn’t want him to know she’d overheard the conversation until he was ready to say something.

  But they got closer and closer to the release date, and he still hadn’t mentioned it. She chalked it up to the fact he’d been so distracted by the upcoming event and subsequent tour. The week before the launch, she barely saw him at all.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he cajoled. “These days it’s hard for me to focus on anything but the book and how the media will react.”

  “I understand.” Of course she did. She was used to working with temperamental authors. “But I’ll be right there next to you, along with Nate, to make sure things go smoothly.”

  On release day, she was up at six in the morning, filled with excitement. Christmas was right around the corner. They’d picked out a small tree together and decorated it. He’d suggested waiting until Christmas Eve to put their gifts under it, and she’d agreed. Tom still had said nothing about an engagement, so she gathered materials for the release party and hurried to the restaurant where she’d booked a private room.

  She constantly checked her cell phone, but it stared mockingly back at her. No texts. No calls. Was he planning to drop this engagement thing on her without warning? Merry Christmas and will you marry me? How should she react? She was so nervous she kept dropping folders.

  Nate Forrester arrived ahead of the crowd, grinning broadly. And why not? All signs indicated the book would hit the bestseller lists as soon as it was out of the box.

  “Good job with this, kiddo,” he told her “Top notch work.”

  “Thank you.” Praise from him was hard won.

  “More big news today, too, right?”

  The engagement. He apparently thought Tom had already asked her to marry him. She started to play dumb and ask him what he meant, but he interrupted her.

  “The limo should be bringing him right about now. I’ll go out and meet him.”

  She was busy checking in the guests and handing out media kits when a commotion told her Nate was back and had Tom with him.

  “There he is,” someone said.

  She glanced up from the table where she was sorting folders to see him near the entrance, dressed in his usual turtleneck, blazer, and slacks, grinning like a fool. Her smile faded and her stomach clenched painfully at the sight of the stunning blonde next to him. She held his arm in a grip that clearly said he’s mine.

  Nina was struck dumb, frozen in place. Who was this woman, and why was she here? More importantly, why did she have such a possessive attitude toward Tom?

  A
beaming Nate made casual introductions as he steered the couple toward the front of the room. Nina stood there, heart beating so fast she thought it might break out of her chest. Clutching more media kits against her body, she listened while Nate introduced Tom, although most everyone in the room already knew him. She’d been trotting him around for weeks.

  After the usual bullshit give and take, Tom held up his hand.

  Nina’s breath was trapped in her throat as she waited to hear what he would say.

  “I have an important announcement to make, and I thought this would be the best time and place to do it.” He drew the blonde in close to him, hugging her to his side. “I’d like to introduce you to Alexis Walker.” He brushed a kiss over her forehead. “We’ve been together a long time, but the past year, she’s been out of the country completing an artist-in-residence grant in Italy. She returned a week ago. I’m damn sure glad she’s back though, so she can share this exciting time with me.” He grinned. “And to tell you all, on the way here I asked her to marry me, and she said yes.”

  As people cheered and whistled, he pulled the blonde into his arms for a scorching kiss.

  Alexis? Together a long time? This was the engagement he and Nate had talked about? Not to her but to this blonde woman? While Nina had planned a future with him, he’d been playing a game with her, filling his time while Alexis was out of the country.

  Nina had an overwhelming desire to either throw up or scream. She wished with all her heart the floor would open up and swallow her, or maybe she could somehow vaporize.

  Not again. Oh, please, not again. Scotty, beam me up.

  Only years of practice kept her features schooled so nothing of what she felt showed. She forced herself to circulate, making sure everyone got his or her five minutes with the happy couple, taking notes on her tablet as to who wanted what for their review. The entire time she’d worked the room, she kept telling herself to keep her smile in place, maintain her composure. Tom was basking in the limelight, reveling in it, his arm firmly wrapped around a smiling Alexis. A woman Nina now hated with a passion.

  She managed to avoid any contact with her ex-lover, leaving Nate to handle things with him. She talked to columnists and reviewers she knew, congratulating herself on being able to carry on a conversation when she was dying inside. Finally, people began to leave, and she could get out of there. She packed up the leftover supplies, slipped her purse strap over her shoulder, and headed for the door. She had almost made it out when a hand closed around her arm.

  “Nina.”

  Oh, God. His voice still made her shiver. Don’t stop. Don’t look at him. She jerked her arm away, refusing to turn around. “Get away from me.”

  He stepped in front of her. “Please. I want to talk to you. Later. I have so much to say.”

  I’ll bet. She spotted Alexis in a group with Nate and three other people. Ah-ha! So it was safe to talk to her. “I have all the explanation I need.”

  She pushed her way into the hallway.

  Tom followed her, boxing her in against the wall. “Nina, you have to listen to me. Let me explain.”

  “Explain?” She was proud of how calm she sounded. “I can’t imagine what there is to explain.” She gritted her teeth, hanging onto her self-control. She would not break down in front of him. “You played me for a fool, and I let you. What an egotistical bastard you are. Did it stroke your ego to seduce the little publicity agent?”

  She tried to push past him again, but he was standing too close.

  “No, listen.” He raked his fingers though his hair. “You’ve got it all wrong. This is Nate’s idea.”

  She stared at him. “Nate’s idea is your excuse? What does that mean, anyway?”

  “Alexis is one of his clients, too. Brand new. She’s writing a book about her year in Italy.”

  “How convenient.” God, if she didn’t get out of here soon, she’d really disgrace herself.

  “Right. Convenient. Glad you understand.” Did he think she was being reasonable about it? “He figured the publicity would give her a good push with the media. This whole engagement thing is nothing more than a publicity stunt. But you and I? We’ll work it out. I swear it.”

  “Work what out? Do you mean you’ll decide which one of us you’ll sleep with on any given night?” She studied his face, suddenly realizing what she’d thought was poetic and romantic had been nothing more than the appearance of self-indulgent weakness. She needed to get out of there before she was well and truly sick from the shame and humiliation of it all.

  “Nina, please.”

  “I think you’d better get back to your fiancée.” She pushed away from him. “And do us both a favor. Lose my phone number.”

  She made it home before her control snapped. Slamming and locking her front door, she collapsed on the floor and let the tears come. Great shuddering sobs wracked her body. She sat there until night fell and the house was dark. Like a robot, she stripped off her clothes and stood under a hot streaming shower, wishing it would wash away the last weeks of her life. She was sick to her soul, and her heart hurt with real pain. What was wrong with her? Why did men keep dumping her this way? Maybe her problem was picking the wrong ones, which might mean she should stop picking them at all.

  When she opened a drawer in the dresser to take out a long T-shirt, she found the funny little toy turkey Tom had given her staring at her from it’s place on top. Anguish pierced her, and she collapsed in a spate of fresh tears. Then she found a hammer and smashed the thing to pieces. Thanksgiving. What bullshit.

  Exhausted, she wrapped herself in a robe and fell into bed.

  In the morning, she could barely pull herself from the covers. She called the office and told them she was sick, which wasn’t a complete lie.

  “Nate really wants you in here to work with Tom and Alexis,” Diane said. “He’s been asking for you since he got in. He’s invited some people to lunch with them today, and he specifically requested you handle it.”

  “I can’t,” she croaked, in a good imitation of someone with the flu. “I can barely even move.”

  “It must have come on suddenly.” There was no denying the skepticism in Diane’s voice. “Are you sure it isn’t something else?”

  “I think I know when I have the flu,” she snapped. Then sniffled. “Please explain for me. I’m going back to bed.”

  Maybe if she hadn’t been so fresh from another disaster, she wouldn’t have been so vulnerable. Would have seen how shallow Tom really was. But her confidence had needed boosting so badly, and he’d known exactly the right buttons to push. His betrayal had completely shredded both her heart and soul. What a stupid ninny she’d been for swallowing his line. Although she’d secretly resented the secrecy she was thankful for it in the circumstances. At least the whole world hadn’t been an audience to her humiliation. She was thankful for that one small favor.

  The phone rang several times during the day. Caller ID told her it was either Nate or Diane. Then Tom’s cell number popped up, so she finally unplugged the landline and turned off her cell. Pulling a pillow over her head, she wished herself somewhere off the planet. Could she have been any more a fool? How pathetic that she’d believed every thing he’d said.

  The weekend gave her some respite from the office, at least. She huddled in bed with her quilt and endless cups of tea, crying until her eyes were so dry she thought they’d fall out of their sockets. She cursed her naïve stupidity—something she would expect from one of the starry-eyed interns who worked for the agency. Well, Tom Ridgeway was the last man she would ever allow to take advantage of her again, ever get under her defenses. She was done. Finished. She would guard the remnants of her heart and never give a piece of it away again.

  By Monday morning, the initial shock had dulled, and she reached a decision. There was no way she could stay at Forrester’s and see Tom and work with him constantly. If she asked to be removed as his contact, Nate would want an explanation, and she had none she wanted to give
him.

  She wasn’t sure she’d ever get past either the unbearable emotional pain or the abject humiliation of the whole situation. She also wasn’t sure what she was going to do exactly, but beyond a doubt, she wanted out of her job, her house, and the city. Even the state. She needed someplace where her mortification and heartache wouldn’t be in her face every time she turned around. Staying here, especially in the same business, would put her in contact with Tom too often for her comfort zone. Besides, at that moment she was sick of everything in her life. The agency. The so-called glamour and glitz. Everything. All of it. What had she ever gotten from it except a permanently damaged heart?

  She needed something brand new in her life.

  Her first order of business was making the break with Forrester. Taking the coward’s way out with Nate, she faxed her resignation to Diane. Making up a story about a family emergency, she apologized for leaving him in the lurch, blah, blah, blah. She asked them to deposit her final check in her account as usual.

  The house she lived in was a rental, and the real estate agent handling it was very understanding. The woman had been happy to give her an out on the lease as she had someone already lined up who wanted to rent it. Arranging for her things to be packed up and put in storage helped keep her from sinking into depression again.

  Her parents begged her to spend Christmas with them, and while the day had lost its luster for her, she could use the comfort of home and their love. They’d always supported her no matter what. Thursday night she loaded her car with whatever clothes and personal items she figured would hold her for a while. Since she had no idea where she would end up, she tried to pack as lightly as possible. When she settled down someplace, she could send for everything else.

  Friday morning she did a final check through the house, stepped out onto the porch, and locked the door. She lifted the lid on the mailbox to leave the keys for the rental agent. The clunk of metal hitting metal sounded like the death knell of the life she’d had such hopes for. And in a way, it was. She turned, every muscle in her body tightening when she spotted Tom standing at the end of her driveway.