Hard To Handle (Rawhide) Read online

  “Thanks, Dan, but I think I’ll just pass. I’m really tired. Long day, today.”

  Dan chuckled. “Long day every day. Well, darlin’, the invite’s always open. You know that.”

  “I do.” She smiled at him. “Thanks. Maybe sometime I might actually tag along.”

  Not without me. Hondo hung up the bridle he’d gripped so hard with his fingers. He needed to find an outlet pretty soon or he might end up doing something he’d be sorry for. For a long time. But where could he go? And who could he ask?

  He was about to step out of the tack room when Liz Wright walked into the barn. She stood waiting for Bailey to finish what she was doing and put away her tools.

  “Hey, Liz.” Bailey lifted her hand to brush some stray hair from her forehead, tightening the fabric of her T-shirt and outlining her breasts.

  Hondo found his hands opening and closing convulsively.

  “You about done?” Liz asked.

  “Just now finished.” Hondo saw her body tense. “Problem?”

  “No. Not at all.” Liz laughed. “I know you keep turning down the invites from the guys to go into town. And believe me, I’m not pushing you in that direction. But I thought you might need a break.”

  “I’m good. I mean, what kind of break?”

  “Alex had to go out of town overnight. I feel like getting away from the ranch for a few hours. I thought if you didn’t have any plans, we might grab a bite to eat.”

  “Not where the guys are going,” Bailey said.

  “Lordy, no.” Liz laughed. “I see enough of them all day. There’s a new place opened about twenty minutes from here. In Hospitality.” She laughed again. “I can’t ever get over someone naming a town that. Anyway, I hear the food’s very good. And it’s casual. Come on. I could use some girl time. All I ever get to hang out with are the roughnecks around here.”

  Bailey hesitated a moment, then nodded her head. “Okay. Sure. That would be nice.”

  “Good.” Liz looked at her watch. “It’s a little after six right now. Can you be ready at seven?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Good. Oh, and it’s casual. Jeans are good. See you in about an hour.”

  Hondo waited until Liz had left before walking out of the tack room. Bailey was leading Mick Jagger to his stall. She startled when she saw him.

  “Lord, don’t sneak up on someone that way.” She slapped the horse on his rump to urge him into the stall then latched the gate and turned to face Hondo. “You sneaking around the barn?”

  “Not at all. I was in the tack room. So…” He leaned against the wall. “You and the boss lady having girls night out?”

  “Something wrong with that?” she challenged.

  “Not at all. I think it’s a good idea. You probably miss having female companionship.”

  She glared at him. “Is that a sexist statement, Hondo?”

  “Whoa.” He held up his hands, palms out. “Just making a comment. I think it’s nice that you’re getting off the ranch for a few hours. All you do is work and hide out in that cabin of yours.”

  “I’m not hiding out,” she snapped. “I just like my own company.” She carried her tray of tools into the tack room and stored it on a shelf.

  Hondo was right behind her, his eyes again focused on the sexy sway of her ass. He had to shove his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out to her. What the hell was the matter with him? He usually had a lot more control than this. But in the year since Bailey had come to work at the Lucky L, he’d felt an invisible thread tugging him toward her, almost as if they shared the same forbidden desires.

  And that was just not possible.

  Was it?

  When she turned to leave, there was barely an inch of space between them.

  She frowned. “Was there something else you wanted? I need to go shower and change.”

  “For your girls night out.”

  She pushed at him, her touch burning against his chest. “Whatever you want to call it.” She tugged her fuller lower lip between her teeth. “Hondo, I don’t know what your problem is, but I like working here, I like the people I work with, including you, and I don’t want to screw anything up. So if you’ve got a beef, let’s have it and get it over with.”

  A beef? Far from it.

  He backed up a couple of steps. “No, no beef at all. Just tryin’ to be a friend.”

  She blew out a breath. “I guess I’m a little touchy. Hot weather does that.” Her smile looked almost genuine. “I really like to keep to myself, Hondo. No offense to anyone. And I appreciate your concern. Maybe one of these days I’ll take you up on that invitation.” She looked at her watch. “Meanwhile, I need to get ready for tonight. See you tomorrow.”

  Oh, yeah, you sure will.

  Somehow he had to get his growing attraction for her under control. He didn’t think Bailey French was a woman who’d enjoy his brand of sex. Nor did he think he could change his desires for her. Besides, playing in your own backyard led to nothing but trouble.

  Chapter Two

  Bailey tore a small piece off the slice of Italian bread she was holding, dipped it in the seasoned olive oil and popped it in her mouth. She was doing her best to relax, but tension threaded through her body like a fine wire. Elizabeth—Liz—Wright’s invitation had come out of nowhere and she wasn’t sure if she was about to be fired or what. The boss lady made it a point not to socialize with any of the staff, although she was professionally cordial to all of them. Bailey knew the woman had worked her ass off to earn their respect, especially after she took over as owner. No one had a bad word to say about her.

  So what was this all about? Had she stepped over the line somehow without realizing it?

  Across the table from her Liz Wright gave a soft chuckle. “Relax, Bailey. I didn’t ask you out to dinner to give you a dressing down.”

  Bailey relaxed fractionally and took a sip of wine to fortify her courage. “I wasn’t sure why you asked me at all,” she confessed. “You don’t do this with the guys.”

  Liz nodded. “And for good reason. I’ve battled the same prejudices you have. The usual stuff. Women aren’t as good at this. Women don’t stick to it. Women are only in it to meet guys and have sex.”

  “They certainly make it tough on us,” she agreed. “You seem to have dealt with it all really well.”

  “Oh, believe me,” Liz said, dipping her own hunk of bread in the oil. “It was a struggle from day one. I didn’t get to this point overnight.”

  Bailey ran her fingertip around the rim of her wine glass. “So, back to my original question. Did I do something wrong? Is that what this dinner is about?” She laughed nervously. “I can’t imagine you’d want to leave that gorgeous husband of yours home unless it was important.”

  Liz smiled. “Alex has a meeting tonight, which is why I thought a girls night out would be a good deal.”

  “So my work is okay?” Bailey persisted, a knot of tension tightening in her stomach. “Do I need to change something?”

  “No, please, don’t worry. Your work is top notch. You’re one of my best wranglers, as a matter of fact.”

  “Then what—”

  “I just see so much of myself in you.” Liz leaned forward. “When John Loughlin first hired me to work at the Lucky L, I thought I had to work three times as hard as the guys to earn their respect. But it was really John’s respect that set the tone.” She leaned back a little. “Of course, when he passed away and left the ranch to me, that was a whole other story.”

  “I’ll bet.” Bailey smiled. “The guys had to be royally pissed.”

  “At first,” Liz agreed. “The ones who’d been the longest most of all. Resentful that John had left the ranch to someone they still considered a newbie. And especially a female.”

  “But you don’t have that problem now,” Bailey pointed out. “Everyone respects you.”

  “And they respect you, too,” Liz assured her. “I can see it in the way they work with you.”r />
  “But they won’t if I start hanging out at the saloon in town with them,” she blurted out. “Did the hands ask you to hang with them on the weekends before or did they just ignore you?”

  “Oh, they always invited me along on what I called their beer blasts. But I didn’t think that would be a good idea. Just like you don’t.”

  Bailey shredded the hunk of bread in her fingers. “You heard me turn down Hondo and Dan today, right?”

  Liz nodded. “That’s why I thought it would be a good idea for us to have dinner and discuss the situation.”

  Bailey frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  “This isn’t an easy life you’ve chosen. You work hard. You need time to play. If not here, then someplace where you feel comfortable. It took me a long time to figure that out.”

  Bailey fiddled with her wine glass, trying to decide exactly how much she could tell this woman. Liz was easy to talk to but she was, after all, the boss. And she didn’t feel comfortable just blurting out that she was a hard-core sub looking for a Dom who didn’t abuse the privilege. Or run away from it.

  “I hear you,” she finally said. “But finding the right people isn’t always that easy.”

  The other woman studied her. “I know you came here from Phoenix, but I guess I thought you had friends in the area. Something that drew you here. I probably should have asked at the time.”

  “Why would you?” Bailey took a fortifying sip of her wine. “My personal circumstances aren’t your worry.”

  Something dark flared in Liz’s eyes for a moment. But it was gone so fast Bailey wondered if she’d imagined it. Did Liz come here to get away from a problem, too?

  “Maybe I sense a kindred spirit.” Liz said the words quietly, almost tentatively.

  Bailey lifted an eyebrow. “In what way? Were you—I mean—”

  “Running from something? In a way.”

  The waiter appeared with their salads, momentarily interrupting their conversation. Bailey forked up a piece of lettuce and chewed it slowly, waiting for Liz to continue. They chewed in silence for a few seconds before Liz spoke again.

  “There were—are—things in my life that I had a hard time handling. Even understanding. Needs that I had.” She paused, took a moment to chew another bite of salad. “It made my life…complicated.” The direct look she gave Bailey was honest and assessing. “I sense you might be dealing with the same thing, Bailey. If I’m wrong, I apologize, and we can pretend this conversation never happened.”

  “You mean in isolating myself?”

  “I mean,” Liz said, “in the things that enrich your life. Not just friendships but sex. People talk about men’s needs all the time, but they never think that could apply to women.”

  Bailey stared at her, stunned that Liz brought the subject up.

  Sex? She’s talking to me about sex? What do I say to that? How do I answer her?

  All she could do was repeat the word. “Sex. You think I need sex.”

  Liz Wright burst out laughing, a friendly sound, not a belittling one. “Bailey, almost everyone needs sex of one kind or another. It’s part of the human psyche.” She leaned forward again. “Unless you have a problem of some kind, it’s really not healthy to go without it for a long time. And I don’t see you as the kind of woman who doesn’t enjoy it.”

  Bailey’s eyes widened. “Do I have some kind of sign on my back? You think I’ll do something to embarrass the ranch? And you?”

  Liz shook her head. “No. That’s not it at all. I’m doing this very badly.” She sighed. “I went without for a long time after I was hired at the Lucky L. Not because the opportunities didn’t present themselves. As with you, every one of the hands eyed me with a lot of speculation. And I think the single men in town were making bets who would be the first one to break the ice.”

  “Holy crap!” She shook her head, as much at the bluntness of the conversation as at the realization that the so-in-control Liz Wright had suffered the same things she did. “I guess I never…” She stopped, not wanting to be discourteous.

  “Thought I was in that situation?” Liz smiled. “Or that I had sex?”

  Bailey’s face heated. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—’

  “It’s okay. Let yourself off the hook, Bailey. I understand what you’re saying.” She took a swallow of her wine. “Sometimes,” she said slowly, “it isn’t just the sex but the kind of sex that keeps you isolated.”

  Bailey froze. Was it possible…“Kind of sex?”

  Liz nodded. “I’m not sharing this with you lightly, Bailey. I’m doing it only because I sense a similar spirit here. I hope I won’t regret this.” She paused. “Some people might say my sexual needs are dark. Off the beaten path. Even unacceptable. For me and many others with the same desires, the elements of the BDSM lifestyle are as normal as breathing. But in a conservative community like this, one can’t exactly go out and ask where the nearest dungeon is or who’s into bondage.”

  Bailey almost swallowed her tongue. Liz Wright was into BDSM?

  Holy shit!

  She let out a slow breath. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “I think the first thing is to let me know if I’m way off base here, in which case, we’ll pretend this conversation never happened. But if I’m not, then maybe I can help.”

  Bailey lifted her water glass and drained half of it. Her face was still hot only now the heat had traveled over her entire body. She wasn’t sure if she should be insulted, embarrassed, or excited.

  “Just tell me one thing,” she said. “Do I have some kind of sign tattooed on my forehead?”

  Liz chuckled. “Not at all. I told you. I’ve been in the life long enough to sense it in others. And I recognized a lot of myself in you.” She lifted an eyebrow. “I hope I haven’t offended you.”

  Bailey pulled in a deep breath. “Not at all. In fact, I’m kind of relieved if you want the honest truth.” She wet her lips. “For one thing, I worry about my specific, shall we say, penchants.”

  Liz cocked an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine they’d be more outrageous than anything I’ve seen or experienced. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but it might help if you tell me what they are.”

  Bailey looked down at her hands. “For a long time I’ve been into, well, edgeplay. Fear.” She swallowed. “The scare factor really gets my juices going.”

  “Oh, Bailey.” The other woman smiled and reached over to touch her hand. “On the outrageous scale that doesn’t even come close to things I’ve seen. For many subs, that’s the ultimate turn-on. Is that what has you worried?”

  “Only partially.” She nibbled her lower lip, a habit she had when her mind was in turmoil. “It’s not just worrying about my specific inclinations being known,” she went on. “I have some…issues from the past that have created problems for me.”

  “Listen. I had my own problems to resolve. Maybe I can help you with yours.”

  Bailey looked down at her plate. How to tell this woman that the problem with extreme needs was finding the right Dom, one who either didn’t take you past your own limits or who was himself afraid of where you wanted him to take you.

  “Bailey?”

  “Um, well.” She raised her eyes and looked at the woman across from her. “I guess I don’t have anything to lose, right?”

  “Absolutely. And you can trust me completely.”

  The details from her past began to spill from her lips, haltingly at first then like a snowball rushing downhill. Through it all Liz just listened, nodding her head, offering her support.

  “There are bad Doms in the D/s lifestyle, just as there are bad partners in vanilla couples. As a sub, it just pays to be careful and selective. And try to find someone who comes recommended. I may have just the solution for you.”

  “A solution?”

  “Let me tell you about the best kept secret in the Texas Hill Country. A place you’d never dream existed. Prepare to be astonished. And relieved.”

 
Liz lifted her glass, indicating Bailey should do the same.

  They touched glasses and Bailey finally began to relax.

  ****

  Hondo’s mind wandered the entire time he drove into town. He couldn’t get the image of Bailey French out of his brain, her sweet little ass as she bent over a horse’s hoof. Her breasts so firm beneath her T-shirt. Or the image of her bent backwards over a padded bench while he drew images on her skin with wax then brushed a fire wand over her.

  Get that out of your mind, asshole.

  The chances that Bailey would be into his kind of sex—his kind of extreme sex—were so scarce as to be almost non-existent. But damn, a man could dream, right? One thing was for damn sure. He needed to find some safe place to play before long or he’d be taking himself in hand every night. But hell. In this very conservative community, he needed to be careful who he asked about what.

  He parked his truck in front of Atwater Tack and Saddle and headed into the store. He nearly bumped into Reece Halliday coming out at the same time.

  “Oh, Reece.” He backed up a step. “Sorry. I need to take a better look where I’m going.”

  Reece laughed. “I’m guilty of that myself all too often. How are things at the Lucky L?”

  “Good. Real good. We’ll have some nice new foals in the spring, the decision to add cattle is working out nicely. Everything’s top shape.”

  “Well, tell Liz and Alex hello.”

  “Yeah. Sure.”

  He hesitated. He’d tried to scope things out for the past year, see if there was a private club where he could find a sub as much into edge play as he was. Then the owner of the bondage club where he used to play before he’d moved to Texas had called him out of the clear blue one day to pass along some information. Hondo had let it roll around in his brain for a while now, not sure if he ought to bring it up or not. But he had to do something soon before his body exploded.

  And here was Reece, the man he’d been told to contact, right in front of him. Maybe it was a sign he should open his mouth.

  Reece had a quizzical look on his face. “Something I can help you with?”